New Point of View

Well I went to Knoxville this weekend and as expected, it was wonderful!  I love seeing my friends and there's so much to do there.  I finally made it to Crossings and I really liked it, but seeing all the JBC people made me miss Seymour Heights.  I was feeling sorry for myself for missing the JBC community when I realized that I've been looking at this the wrong way.  I should be grateful for time to myself.  Instead of sitting in front of the TV thinking my life sucks, I could be riding my bike, journaling, writing letters, catching up on my list of books, or doing one of the other things I've always wanted to do but never got the chance.  Instead of whining that I have no friends I should remember that just because I don't have any friends in Morristown (yet), I still have great friends all around the world, and even some only an hour away!  With this new attitude I am determined to stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing some new things:

1. I want to get more physical activity.  I'm going to ride my bike everyday & explore my new neighborhood.  The only exception is if I get home after 7.

2. I'm limiting TV time to an hour a day- an hour & a half if I watch Jeopardy!

3. Instead of sitting around lazy, I'm going to start writing letters to all the people I mean to keep in touch with but keep putting it off- people from home , JBC, & scattered elsewhere.

4.  I'm going to spend more time daily praying & journaling.

Just because I'm alone right now doesn't mean I'm pathetic.  I want to be one of those interesting people and this is an excellent opportunity to explore myself.  I'm excited!

The Little Things

So today two very insignificant things happened that made me immeasurably happy and I felt the need to share with someone:

1. Dora (the other ELL teacher at LHES) called me mija!  She has been my mentor and I really appreciate her advice & guidance.  I kind of feel like I'm her intern again.  For those who don't know, "mija" is a contraction of "mi hija".  Literally "my daughter", it's an affectionate term for a younger woman.

2. In my mailbox was a pack of note cards and a note on a post-it welcoming me to the school from a first grade teacher.  He is very friendly and introduced himself to me earlier.  It means so much to be welcomed since I feel like I'm such a nuisance- I don't know where anything is or how anything works.  I need to remember in the future that little gestures make a BIG difference to a new teacher (or anyone for that matter!).

Things are going well on the school front.  I have lots of ideas and am slowly putting them into practice.

The Big Move

Well, I still have yet to write about Bali, but I figure it's high time I update about the new move.  After my international adventures, I spent a week in Cincinnati, then came back here to get settled in.  I spent the first week unpacking and decorating and the second week doing finishing touches and getting ready for school.  Last Thursday James came down to visit.  It was wonderful to see him!  We had a lot of fun together and went to Ridgewood Thursday.  Friday I spent the whole day getting ready for my housewarming "party",  which was really just Rachel, Denise & Jenny coming over.  But it was really fun and they spent the night  Friday night.  Saturday morning I cleaned up then headed to Knoxville for Sarah Collins' wedding.  I spent the evening at Rachel & Denise's place and headed home that night.  One thing I've realized about moving alone to a town where I know no one is that although I crave interactions with my friends but I inevitably feel bad after said interactions.  On the drive from K-town to M-town I was so depressed I cried the whole way and obsessively kept calling Dustin to commiserate  with me.  This ended up backfiring, but the point is that I just felt so alone.  It's more difficult than I thought to live by myself.  I really miss coming home to loving, caring roommates.  Although I know they don't see each other as much as you would think living together, it makes a difference to know there's another living body that cares about you close by.  It's the little things, like leaving the light on, sharing meals or just little notes that let you know you're not alone in this world.  It's also worse for me because I don't know Morristown and I don't know anyone here except the IC staff.  Although I adore them,  I wish my weekend plans didn't consist of hanging out with people my parents' age and older.  I love hanging out with them, I just wish I had some peers as well.  This week has been substantially better because I've been busy at school most of the day.  I only have to be alone in the evenings, and it's nice to be able to leave my crap all over the living room and know I'm not inconveniencing anyone.  Also, Rachel & Denise have been taking turns calling me.  

I think a big part of the problem is that I'm afraid to move on.  I want to make friends here and form a life here, but I know that will change my relationships with my JBC friends.  I know that soon enough this will be "home"  and this is where my day- to -day friends will live.  I'll end up talking to my JBC friends more sporadically and although I know we'll always remain close, and up to date with the stuff of life, we will no longer be a part of one another's daily lives.  This makes me sad, but it also scares me.  It's tough not to live within walking distance of my 23 closest friends; it's tougher not to be in daily contact with them; and I can't imagine when I don't even think about them daily.  I realize this is being melodramatic- it sounds so even as I'm writing it.  But that's just how I feel.  Reading back over this post, I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I have done my fair share of that, but really I'm just trying to give a realistic picture of the move and how it's difficult for me.  I'm not sure how much sense this will make to anyone else, but at least I got it out there.

Singapore

Well, I've been putting off blogging because there's so much to write about!  My first impression of Singapore is how CLEAN and organized it was!  My Aunt and cousins were waiting at the airport to pick us up in taxis and take us back to their house.  There was a neat, organized taxi line and attendants told us which one to go in.  We drove through the city to get to their apartment and there were skyscrapers and tropical plants everywhere.  We got to their adorable apartment and spent some time catching up with Uncle Dan, Aunt Jeanne, Lara & Michelle before my parents and brother headed to their rented room at the YMCA and we all went to sleep.  The next day we laid out at the pool (which was difficult because it was cloudy), went shopping on Orchard Road, and went to MacRitchie nature preserve to see some wild monkeys.  Most people in Singapore don't have cars.  In order to keep pollution low, they charge over 100% tax as well as other fees.  So we took the bus to Orchard Rd, which is evidently the equivalent to 5th Avenue in NYC.  Our first stop was for some bubble tea, a Singaporean drink with little balls of soy at the bottom.  The kind I got tasted like a cross between a strawberry smoothie and slushy.  The little balls didn't really taste like much- you sucked them up with your straw and they kind of had the texture of gummy bears, but no taste.  It was really good!  We walked through the mall but didn't really buy anything because it was all too expensive.  I did make some excellent purchases at a bookstore- a Japanese picture book that reads from right to left and Where the Wild Things Are in Japanese.  We also discovered a book titled 501 Places You Must Visit.  Heather and I bought a copy and so did Lara & Michelle. We spent the afternoon perusing it.  When the adults & James got back from their visit to the botanical gardens, we went to MacRitchie because Michelle promised us she always sees monkeys there.  Aunt Jeanne stayed home because she said if you're looking for monkeys you won't see them.  After walking several miles and looking for awhile we determined Aunt Jeanne was right!

The next day was zoo day and let me just say that the Singapore Zoo is AMAZING!  They have animals out in the open, not even in cages!  We got to see kangaroos up close, tons of baboons, and the feeding of the white tigers!  There is a rainforest exhibit where you walk into this large enclosed area and all of the animals are running free- lemurs, fruit bats, butterflies, reptiles, and these other monkeys.  It was sooo cool!  We spent the whole day at the zoo and came home to pack up for Bali and eat dinner at Clarke Quay.  We went to a Japanese restaurant with the whole family, then Heather, Lara, Michelle and I headed to an Arabic restaurant for drinks and hooka.  Heather and I both ordered Singapore Slings.  It was fun to enjoy a (legal) drink and relax with my family.

The next day we went to Bali, which I will post about later.  When we got back a week later we were tired and just ordered in Pizza Hut.

The next day was Sunday, so we went to church.  After Uncle Dan really wanted us to go to Chinatown, but the general consensus was that if you've seen one Chinatown, you've seen them all.  So instead, we went to Arab street.  We had a good time shopping and looking in mosques.  Afterwards, we went to see Hancock, which is an AMAZING movie and I would highly recommend it.  

On Monday, we planned to go to Sentosa Beach, but Heather was really sick, so we decided to go on Tuesday.  We ended up staying in all day.  Michelle finished Harry Potter and I read Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner.  I'm going to read more of her books!  That evening we went to Brewerks, a restaurant that specializes in beer.  Heather ordered for us and we had fun reminiscing and playing either or.  When we were almost finished, I dropped a glass and broke it (no, I was not drunk- just clumsy) and they gave us a sampler of beer free!  So I can now say I've tried some kinds that I don't hate, but I'm still not really a beer girl.

We spent Tuesday morning relaxing again, then went to East Coast Beach to ride bikes.  We decided to get tandem bikes, which are a lot harder than they look, but once you get started, it gets much easier.  It was a lot of fun to ride around by the beach.  It was hot and humid, as usual for Singapore, and when we got off the bikes to switch places, my cousin's khaki shorts were totally wet from sweat on her butt!  We spent the rest of the afternoon making fun of her for peeing her pants.  When we got back to the apartment we had enough time to finish packing and enjoy Aunt Jeanne's homemade pizza before heading to the airport to fly back home.  I was sooo sad to leave!  I'm glad we got a chance to see them and hopefully they'll be coming to the States next summer, so we'll see them in a year.  All in all some excellent family time.  I'll miss them!

Korea

Well, I've successfully made my first venture into the "real" Asia.  I've been told India doesn't count, as it's a subcontinent.  The jet lag this time was MUCH more manageable than that coming to and from India and I attribute that to the fact that I was well-rested at the start of the trip and was able to relax once I got there and get on the right sleep schedule.  Our travel time was three days but it was really not that bad.  We left Chicago around four or five, right after James sprained his ankle trying to catch a spare frisbee.  We started out with him driving, but switched before we even left Cincy.  I drove the whole way, but I didn't mind- it's better than being bored.  We actually had a pretty good time talking, laughing, and playing catch phrase.  I usually enjoy time spent with my siblings although we don't hang out unless we're forced to by circumstances or our parents.  Anyway, we arrived in Chicago around midnight their time after stopping at BW3's because it's the only place Heather will eat.  The other two went to bed and I did too after watching a Mad About You marathon on Lifetime.

Our flight to Korea left at noon, so we made it to the airport in plenty of time.  Unfortunately, it was one of those where you have to eat before you pass through security, so I had to gulp down my coffee, but we really didn't have to wait much.  We boarded the plane and to my siblings' dismay, discovered that this 14 hour flight didn't have personal TV screens on the back of the seats!  I wasn't really too disappointed because I brought all the Harry Potter books, which served me well and I really wasn't all that bored.  It was also nice to sit next to James so I could lay on him.  As a sidenote, we saw Jumper on the plane: DON'T see it!  It was horrible!  We actually arrived in Korea 12 and a half hours later.  After a fiasco with the shuttle to the hotel, we finally arrived and decided to go out to eat before we slept.  We got a chance to tour Incheon while we looked for a restaurant my mom would approve of.  We settled upon a barbecue place where they brought out raw meat and grilled it on the table for us.  You put it in a leaf and wrapped it up with rice, somewhat like a burrito.  I thought it was pretty good, minus the rice, but Heather and Mom decided they don't like Korean food.  They had tons of side dishes, most of which where too hot, but I like the milder ones.  

We returned to the hotel and crashed.  Heather and I woke up around 5 am and watched the British Office on TV.  Way more awkward than its American counterpart!  James joined us around 7 and we hung out till breakfast at 9:30.  Our "American" breakfast that cost us $13 American per person consisted of two eggs over easy, two pieces of toast, room temperature yogurt, fatty bacon, lunchmeat ham, and a hot dog cut in half.  However, I was starving so I ate most of it.  Somewhere in between waking up and breakfast I also got a bath.  The bathroom had a clear door, marble floor and a huge jacuzzi bathtub with removable shower head thingie.  It also had a fixed shower with a clear partition covering only part of it- the water just flowed on the marble floor to the drain nearby.  I don't know how to explain it, but I'll post pictures later.  In a separate closet-sized room was the extremely high-tech toilet with buttons for a bidet or wash.  

After breakfast, we still had about an hour so we walked around Incheon.  The Seoul airport is actually on the island of Incheon.  There were a lot of skyscrapers and big signs that made it seem like a big city, but it was quiet and clean, which made it seem like a small town.  We passed a ton of restaurants with aquariums outside where we spotted fresh seafood, including squid, octopus, and eels.  I really enjoyed looking around and have identified a new hopeful travel destination!

We got back to the hotel in time to take the shuttle to the airport.  We spent our four hours there browsing stores and eating our last American meal- Burger King.  I saw Caribou Coffee, but unfortunately I'd already had coffee at Dunkin Donuts during our stroll through Incheon.

Next stop: Singapore!

Ooops, I forgot!

Yesterday I left my new place to head to Cincinnati and spend a few days with the fam before heading on vacation to Singapore and Bali.  I planned on leaving mid-morning, but the time kept slipping back as I thought of new things to do.  I had to clean up, do some decorating, hit Walmart one more time, etc.  I FINALLY left the house around 5:30 and made it out of Morristown by 6:15 after multiple calls to my sister and Dustin.  Three hours later I was almost to Lexington when I realized my passport (an essential part of international travel) was back in TN!  I turned around and started freaking out immediately.  I finally made it home a little before 1 am and left this morning for the Nati.  I made it to my parent's house by 4 this afternoon and was super tired and mad at myself for adding so many miles and hours to my trip.  But the point of all this is how much I appreciate my friends.  I was freaking about how I forgot and how stupid I was, and there were so many willing to comfort me and talk me down.  I'm grateful that they can ignore my stupidity and occasional self-centeredness.  Thanks guys!

Changes...

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions.  It's flown by so fast, yet I can't believe a week ago was Denise's birthday when we were lunching at Moe's and photo shooting in Old City.  Although I knew then that the end was near, I don't think I really understood what it meant.  I still don't.  It feels like we're on summer break and next month we'll all come together again. But I know that some of the people who have been a daily part of my life for five years I will never see again.  Although that sounds depressing written down like that, it's also encouraging to think about how great God is and how we are all part of his family.  Even though I know there are people I'll never see again, I get excited when I think about how I'll hear of them.  I can imagine all the great things they'll do and how their news will reach me across the country or maybe even across the world.  Reading Dustin's blog both encouraged me and (of course) made me cry because it's so true!  We were brought together for a purpose and now that our training is finished, we must go out and reach the world!  It's exciting to think about the impact we'll make and how we're all still connecting because we're working in the name of Christ.  And although it's cheesy, and I'm excited that this is not good-bye.  Even the classmates I'll never see again on earth I will be reunited with in heaven.  I can't wait to catch up!

In other news, I am now officially a resident of Morristown, Tennessee.  My feelings about this are mixed.  I have faith that once I start school things will get much better.  At first I was very depressed about living alone in my somewhat large townhouse, but it is slowly filling up with all my crap and I'm really enjoying decorating it my OWN way!  It's weird living alone, a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.  It's way too easy to go through a whole day without talking to another person, which leaves me feeling inhuman.  It's worse because my cell doesn't work and I don't have internet, so I feel completely disconnected from the world.  

I think it will be difficult to meet people, but once I get connected with church and have a job to go to everyday, I think it will be MUCH better!

The End of an Era

As I reflect on the changes coming up this year, I just find it difficult to believe.  The past five years have flown by impossibly fast and it's hard to remember how I felt as a freshman coming to JBC- so naive!  I can't even imagine my life without this safe community and this amazing group of friends.  We've grown close through the years and really come together as a group.  I remember leaving home for college and thinking how scary it was to go somewhere new and how I would never make new friends.  Now as I prepare to leave I'm thinking the same thing.  I feel so close to my friends here in Knoxville- I'm worried that with the distance and with our busy lives we'll lose touch.  I know I'll make new friends in my new home, but I don't want to lose touch with old friends and our close community.  It makes me grateful for the small familial feel of Johnson and how I have been accepted into the community.  

Although I know I will eventually build close relationships in Morristown, I also know that they take hard work.  I remember feeling distant from everyone here at JBC and yearning for my friends back home in Cincy.  Now those feelings are alien to me, but I know it will be difficult to build relationships with the people I meet in my new home; even more so because everyone at JBC was looking for new friends.

Although all the changes are scary and overwhelming, I can't help but be truly grateful for so many things.  Unlike many people, I didn't have to wait in limbo for a job- it was practically handed to me.  At times I feel guilty that it was so easy, but I know I worked hard at my internship and sacrificed to drive to Morristown everyday, which enabled me to get the job there.  I really have a dream job and am so excited to start working!  I'm also grateful to have found such an amazing place to live next year.  I love my new home and it will be great to come home to a nice place everyday.  Preparing to leave JBC has made me grateful for my education here.  In addition to the relationships I've made with people here, I'm also grateful for my education.  We have some really great professors here.  Of course I am super grateful for my roommates.  Our home has been a refuge during the storm of this past year.  As I prepare to leave them, I realize how much they did for me and how much we did for one another.  They are always there when I need them- to talk, cuddle, brainstorm, goof off, help me pick out matching clothes, or take my car to the shop.  

Even though I'm leaving a lot behind, I'm looking forward to this fresh start and being able to spread my wings.

Almost Done!

In 5 Minutes we'll be done with class!